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"NOT JUST ANOTHER PRETTY FACE I'AM AN UGLY MOTHER FUCKER" "BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP, UGLY GOES TO THE BONE"
"FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS SAY NO TO DRUGS"
"WE'LL EAT NO SWINE BEFORE HER TIME"
"WE MAY NOT GO DOWN IN HISTORY,
BUT WE WILL GO DOWN ON YOUR LITTLE SISTER"
WE BELIEVE IN THE HONOR SYSTEM,
"GET ON HER AND STAY ON HER"
This is the Original Constitution written sometime around 1982
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Lets Get This Party Started!
The "UGLY Mother Fuckers of America" was founded in July,1982 in San Diego, Ca. Our founding father was "Moko Joe" (UMF#1), an escaped lunatic from Hawaii. The express purpose of the club was to take the vote away from women. Having run into some heavy resistance from the US Congress, we fell in with some bad company and have been drunk and/or loaded ever since. We have members in Norway, Australia, Japan, Hawaii, Cuba, Mexico, Canada, Philippines, and other places too rude to mention. Most of the Philipino members are Pilipino Pighter Pilots, so we'll always have a pair of plyers. The vast majority of the membership is patriotic, but we don't get involved much in politics. We did mount a massive campaign to defeat the California motorcycle helmet bill. We also voted to write and congratulate Col. Ollie North on his fight with the "Commie-Pinko Fags" in Washington. The secretary -treasurer has been drunk however, and is not sure whether he mailed the letter or shredded it. Members must be ugly and at least twenty-one (21) years old. It helps if you know Joe as in "Joe Mama". You'll often see us in collusion with lewd women, but females are strictly forbidden from membership and we don't cotten much to faggots either.
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